Reader Question:

This man and I currently talking for three years. We never been in a relationship but I have already been romantic on several occasions.

I recently wished to follow a connection. He got angry at myself and said he’s not ready. The guy ended talking to me for three days. We told him if all of our relationship can last, a relationship isn’t important.

Do you consider he’ll ever change? Must I hold out for him?

-Shakia (Massachusetts)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Response:

Dear Shakia,

He will perhaps not change should you decide stay the same. All their needs are increasingly being came across here. He has got absolutely no reason to enter a romantic union if he is able to get all benefits without having to dedicate.

The guy also tested you by cutting-off communication for a few months. And you arrived running to maintain the outdated, unfulfilling relationship.

My personal guidance: Tell him clearly when he’s ready to have a real, dedicated, romantic relationship, the guy should contact you, but before this, you’re unavailable.

After that don’t get weak and let him suck you back in the outdated system. No texting. No calling. No Twitter stalking.

My personal hunch is it isn’t the guy for your family, but this relationship is in some way keeping you against fulfilling a really fantastic man.

No guidance or therapy information: your website will not give psychotherapy guidance. The website is intended just for use by consumers searching for basic info of interest related to dilemmas people may deal with as individuals and also in interactions and associated subjects. Content material just isn’t intended to change or act as substitute for pro assessment or service. Contained observations and opinions shouldn’t be misconstrued as particular guidance advice.

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